is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Randomize
