We're like a lot better than the average bears
Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
