Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Randomize
