When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
Its about making memories worth repressing
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
