About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
third nipple confirmed
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
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