It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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