if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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