Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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