glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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