What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize
