Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
