Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
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