hell yes lets make some ravioli
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Randomize
