so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I cut my penus on the lid.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
