So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
