if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
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