Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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