girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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