Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Randomize
