I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Randomize
