Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
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