Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
