Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
he high fived his dick after we had sex
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
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