with your own penis?
Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
