Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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