yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Someone shit on the floor
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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