just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Randomize
