belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
