3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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