Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
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