I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
