He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Randomize
