I CAN MOONWALK!
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
