I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
you never un-have a 4some
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
