I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
