drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
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