I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Randomize
