i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
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