you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Randomize
