So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
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