My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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