I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I use my feet as sexual weapons
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
