she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
