i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
