i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Randomize
