There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
