Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
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