JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
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