omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
