There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
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