So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
