I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Randomize
